The Painter 

 Odd Jobs As A Handywoman

Julie was getting pretty desperate for money.  She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handywoman.

The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for you.  How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure, that sounds great!"  said Julie.

"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.

"Is 50 bucks all right?" Julie asked.

"Yeah, great.  You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."

The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.

"Fifty bucks!  Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.

"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.

About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door.  "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner.  The man was amazed.

"You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!"

The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.

"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."



There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers and the boss had to choose between a team of brunette women and a team of blonde women.

So the boss met with both teams and said: "Here's what we'll do.  Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day.  The team that installs the most phone poles get the job."

Both teams headed right out.

At the end of the shift, the Brunette team came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed and they said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.

Forty-five minutes later, the Blonde team came back in and they were totally exhausted.  The boss said, "Well, how many poles did you install."

The team leader wiped her brow and sighed, "We got three in."

The boss gasped, "Three?  Those Brunettes put in twelve!"

"Yeah," said the Blonde leader, "but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground!"



A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?"  She asked.

"Hunting flies." He responded.

"Oh!, Killed any?"  She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.  "How can you tell?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

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