Smile

It's Infectious, You Catch It Like The Flu

Smiling is infectious, you catch it like the flu,
When someone smiled at me today, I started smiling, too.

I passed around the corner and someone saw my grin,
When he smiled I realized, I'd passed it on to him.

I thought about that smile, then I realized it's worth,
A single smile, just like mine, could travel round the earth.

So if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected,
Let's start an epidemic, and get the world infected.

Unknown

Only In America

1. Only in America....can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America....are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America....do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8.Only in America....do we buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America....do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blooksucking creatures".

10.Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Unknown

Ever Ponder

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Phychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquied made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tastes it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplaines? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Unknown

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