Senior Citizen Benefits
In a hostage situation, you are likely to
It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
No one expects you to run into a burning building.
People call at 9:00 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You can eat dinner at 4:00 p.m.
You can live without sex but not without glasses.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor
to watch television.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who
walks in the room.
You send money to PBS.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
Your back goes out more than you do.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they
can't remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a
I wish for you joy in your golden years
God Bless You!
No I have not seen your lipstick