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Mother Knows BestMy mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE: "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why." My mother taught me LOGIC: "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you 'look' at the dirt on the back of your neck!" My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there 'till all that broccoli is finished." My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room." My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS: "If I yelled because I was a meteor coming toward you, would you listen THEN?" My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!" My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!" My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until we get home." My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when we get home." My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way." My mother taught me to THINK AHEAD: "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job." My mother taught me ESP: "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" My mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." My mother taught me about SEX: "How do you think you got here?" My mother taught me about GENETICS: "You're just like your father." My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Do you think you were born in a barn?" My mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE: "When you get to be my age, you will understand." My mother taught me about JUSTICE: "One day you'll have kids....and I hope they turn out just like you." Return to Amusing Tidbits page ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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