Mother Knows Best

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:  "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:  "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:  "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:  "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me LOGIC:  "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:  "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:  "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:  "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:  "Will you 'look' at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:  "You'll sit there 'till all that broccoli is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:  "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:  "If I yelled because I was a meteor coming toward you, would you listen THEN?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:  "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:  "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:  "Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY:  "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:  "Just wait until we get home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING:  "You are going to get it when we get home."

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:  "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to stay that way."

My mother taught me to THINK AHEAD:  "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My mother taught me ESP:  "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My mother taught me HUMOR:  "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT:  "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me about SEX:  "How do you think you got here?"

My mother taught me about GENETICS:  "You're just like your father."

My mother taught me about my ROOTS:  "Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE:  "When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about JUSTICE:  "One day you'll have kids....and I hope they turn out just like you."

Return to Amusing Tidbits page

Lookup a word or passage in the Bible

4"Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, haveing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. 5And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; 6And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; 7And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. 8For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowkledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. 10Wherefore the rather, brethen, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall: 11For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." (Second Peter 1:4-11)

I wish for you the joy of laughter

God Bless You!

Just a part of
God's Beauty


Enjoy This Site?
Then why not use the button below, to add us to your favorite bookmarking service?

[?] Subscribe To This Site

follow us in feedly
Add to My Yahoo!
Add to My MSN
Subscribe with Bloglines

Copyright© 2008-2016
All Rights Reserved