Freckles Are Beautiful


An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was painting them with tiger paws.

"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.  His grandmother knelt down next to him.  "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek.  "Freckles are beautiful."

The boy looked up, "Really?"

"Of course," said the grandmother.  "Why just name me one thing that's more beautiful than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."


Work

I'm tired.....

For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep and too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason:

I'm tired because I'm overworked.  The population of the USA is 237 million.

104 million are retired.  That leaves 133 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.

Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million to do the work.

Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.  You and me.

And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes.


**************************************


A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist.

The doctor tells him he has to develop self-esteem.  The doctor gives him a booklet on assertive training.

He reads it on the way home.

When he walks through the door and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, "From now on I'm the man of this home and my word is law.  When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table.

Now get upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the boys tonight.  Then draw my bath.  when I get out of the tub, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The undertaker." she replies.


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