Five Year Old Timmy  

Just Started Kindergarten

Timmy was a little five year old boy who his Mom loved very much and, being a worrier, she was concerned about his walking to school when he started kindergarten.  She walked him to school a couple of days but when he came home one day, he told his mother that he did not want her walking him to school every day.  He wanted to be like the big boys.  He protested loudly, so she had an idea of how to handle it.  She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would surreptitiously follow her son to school, at a distance behind him that he would not likely notice, but close enough to keep a watch on him.

Mrs. Goodnest said that since she was up early with her toddler anyway, it would be a good way for them to get some exercise as well so she agreed.
The next school day, Mrs. Goodnest and her little girl, Marcy, set out following behind Timmy as he walked to school with another reighbor boy he knew.  She did this for the whole week.

As the boys walked and chatted, kicking stones and twigs, the little friend of Timmy noticed that this same lady was following them as she seemed to do every day all week.  Finally, he said to Timmy, "Have you noticed that lady following us all week?  Do you know her?"

Timmy nonchalantly replied, "Yea, I know who she is."

The little friend said, "Well who is she?"

"That's just Shirley Goodnest." Timmy said.

"Shirley Goodnest?  Who is she and why is she following us?"

Well, Timmy explained, "Every night my Mom makes me say the 23re Psalm with my prayers cuz she worries about me so much.  And in it, the prayer psalm says, Shirley Goodnest and Marcy shall follow me all the days of my life, so I guess I'll just have to get used to it."

Two Young Engineers

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company.  They both had the same qualifications.  In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department Manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.  The manager went to the first applicant and said,"Thank you for your enterest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant.

"But why?  We both got 9 questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the manager.  "Your fellow applicant put down for question #5, 'I don't know the answer.'  And you put down, 'Neither do I.'"

Modern Priest

The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "It was a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats.  It worked like a charm.  The front of the church fills first."

The young priest nodded and the old priest continued, "And you told me a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that  rock 'n roll gospel choir.  We are packed to the balcony."

"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest.  "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"Well," said the elderly priest, "I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional." "But Father," protested the young priest, "my confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!"

"I know, son," replied the elderly priest, "but that flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go To Hell' can't stay on the church roof."

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